Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Strengthen bonds and re-establish connection with your partner.
Love is not a bargain, it’s a bond.
You're here because you love your partner and are wanting to be better together. It's the job of an EFT therapist (me!) to help you understand what's happening for you on the inside so you can share it in a way that is tangible for your partner. When you and your partner are able to see each other differently, hear each other differently, and experience each other differently…this is where the magic happens! New ways of engaging happen, new moments of bonding occur, vulnerability is honored, and (as cheesy as it sounds) transformation begins. It’s so much more than negotiating needs, finding strategies, and making bargains with each other. When emotional connection is prioritized, partners can become a safe-haven and secure base for each other and co-regulation can ensue.
Dr. Sue Johnson, pioneer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, speaks about the benefits of EFT.
“At the moment, EFT has substantial empirical validation….EFT focuses on how people experience their relationship, how they put together their emotional experience, how they express those emotions…It’s systemic, it looks at the whole relationship and the patterns in the relationship. It looks at how couples get stuck in very negative patterns and how we can help them shift those emotional signals…”
“We’re standing on all this science that tells us how to make sense of these emotions that tell us what these fights are all about…We have this map, this way of understanding the emotional music that’s driving the dance and the dance. We say the problem is emotional disconnection and the consequences of that, not conflict per se. Conflict is the inflammation…the virus is this loss of emotional connection…”
Let an emotionally focused approach help you and your partner change the music of your negative dance as you learn new steps and ways of being together.
Not quite ready for couples therapy?
Consider attending a Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop
Coming Soon!
Are you a therapist wanting to learn more about EFT and connect with other EFTers? Check this out!
What Couples Are Saying
“This therapy is unlike anything we've ever done before. I was amazed to see my (partner) open up to me like that. I knew right then that this was different and I could finally feel hope for us.”
“It didn’t feel like this was your job. It felt like you were just a friend helping us along this difficult road.”
“You were there with us and you understood us— not just me, but also [my partner]— and I felt that from the moment we started with you.”